In the dark times
Will there also be singing?
Yes, there will also be singing.
About the dark times.
July 29, 2010
April 25, 2010
Any unusual activity tonight?
All quiet on the western front. Various people are asleep. Various people are awake. They come and go in cars, pickups, taxis. Other than that, we watch the air move.
December 21, 2009
For those at Copenhagen
...and the powers that be that will always ensure the slow progress of its goals: many more would be giving you the finger right now, but they're too busy either relocating, or treading water.
December 16, 2009
December 8, 2009
Virgin bimbos in zero gravity
I find it perfect that Richard Branson announces plans for commerical space flight around the same time as the Climate Change Conference (coughcough) in Copenhagen is set to begin. Coincidence, or just a clever entrepreneur looking to corner the market for future evacuations for when it all falls apart, biblical-style?
You decide.
You decide.
November 24, 2009
November 22, 2009
Important world news
Only someone as self-righteous as Oprah (she named her 42 ACRE estate 'The Promised Land'...) would announce the end of her show 2 years before it's actually scheduled to happen. Like it's some sort of livelihood adjustment we need two years to complete. It wouldn't quite be Oprah if it wasn't bigger than it had to be - kind of like her really.
Fuck Oprah and her partisan social change and equality championing while at the same time lining her pockets with middle America. Fuck Oprah and bribing audiences to show up with chair treasure. And fuck Oprah lulling America to sleep for the past 25 years with her uninformed advice, celebrity schmoozing, rapport-building, and exaggerated emotion.
I can't wait until 2011... I know she probably won't disappear - though I can dream. I just can't wait to see what happens. The only thing funnier than Oprah dealing with America's problems, is Dr Phil, and Ellen taking over the role.
Fuck Oprah and her partisan social change and equality championing while at the same time lining her pockets with middle America. Fuck Oprah and bribing audiences to show up with chair treasure. And fuck Oprah lulling America to sleep for the past 25 years with her uninformed advice, celebrity schmoozing, rapport-building, and exaggerated emotion.
I can't wait until 2011... I know she probably won't disappear - though I can dream. I just can't wait to see what happens. The only thing funnier than Oprah dealing with America's problems, is Dr Phil, and Ellen taking over the role.
November 18, 2009
G. C. Haymes - SKYMAIL
Read some of the replies and see his other work here.
An 'awesome' artist in the proper meaning of the word - the guy does it all.
Ever feel like you're just not trying hard enough?
November 15, 2009
Today's top stories
Identity crisis: our cross to bear
The new Australian 'symbol' should just be a photo of an Australian war veteran with a single tear rolling down their cheek as they watch a bunch of patriotic Australians with the Southern Cross stamped on them like cattle beat the shit out of anyone that's not from around here. He can rest assured knowing that what he fought for has led to an environment where a bunch of cowards can alleiviate their fears and insecurities under the guise of patriotism. Sure, the war veteran and the modern patriotic Australian both displayed their unabashed love for this country by defending it from perceived threats - but at least during the war, unjustified or not, the perceived threat was a little more significant than a bunch of guys in Lonsdale shirts.
However, America is still the champion of being patriotic to the point of encouraging more violence - congratulations.
Can't I just go to the moon? I promise I won't make a mess. I just want to go to a place where there are no over the top signs of patriotism present... like bumper stickers... or flags... or anyth-
...oh just forget it.
The new Australian 'symbol' should just be a photo of an Australian war veteran with a single tear rolling down their cheek as they watch a bunch of patriotic Australians with the Southern Cross stamped on them like cattle beat the shit out of anyone that's not from around here. He can rest assured knowing that what he fought for has led to an environment where a bunch of cowards can alleiviate their fears and insecurities under the guise of patriotism. Sure, the war veteran and the modern patriotic Australian both displayed their unabashed love for this country by defending it from perceived threats - but at least during the war, unjustified or not, the perceived threat was a little more significant than a bunch of guys in Lonsdale shirts.
However, America is still the champion of being patriotic to the point of encouraging more violence - congratulations.
Can't I just go to the moon? I promise I won't make a mess. I just want to go to a place where there are no over the top signs of patriotism present... like bumper stickers... or flags... or anyth-
...oh just forget it.
November 12, 2009
What I shouldn't be reading at 1 in the morning
- There are exactly 17 people on this earth fated to kill you. If you somehow manage to avoid these 17 people during your lifetime, you are taken to a place of monumental beauty where you are stripped of all clothing and branded on the space just above your navel with a name. When you are sent back to earth, it's your mission to kill the person branded on you.
- The body of 4 children murdered in the 1800's are perfectly preserved under the Reunion Tower in Dallas, Texas. In their genes lies the cure to countless major diseases (Including the cure for AIDS).
- Leon Czolgosz, assassin of William McKinley, the the 25th President of the United States, was electrocuted for his crime on October 29, 1901, at Auburn Prison in Auburn, New York. Among the personal effects found in his cell was a U.S. quarter stamped with the date 2218. The face in profile on said quarter was not George Washington, but rather a face which has yet to be identified.
- Every 4983 days a person dies at the exact latitude and longitude of their birthday.
- The 51st state of the United States, Arcadia, was admitted to statehood on January 17th, 1977. Exactly 4 years to the day later, Arcadia disappeared along with all its residents, and all memory of its existence was erased from every mind in the world. Its precise former location is unknown, though there is rumored to be a map of the type sold in gas stations and convenience stores held under lock and key in the Library of Congress. Also of note are claims of the sporadic delivery of mail from Arcadia, with modern postmarks, to several major American newspapers, the contents of which are said to be written in an entirely unknown and undecipherable language. Unfortunately, those letters to a one have been misplaced and are not available for examination.
- Earth is a farm. We are someone else's property.
- For a brief period in 1971, a New Jersey based company sold novelty "x-ray" glasses through the mail via advertisements in the Marvel line of comic books. People who viewed their televisions while wearing these glasses reported seeing images that were "hellish" or "like hell". It should be noted that this phenomena occured whether the televisions in question were turned on or not. The company quickly went out of business and investigations reveal that the company's address leads to a graveyard founded many decades before 1971. I heard that the company showed up later somewhere in the midwest. They released a toy doll that was supposed to be a realistic baby. Eventually the doll would start crying, and you couldn't get it to stop without shaking it. Eventually when it started crying the owner would have to beat it, and the beatings and thrashings would have to get harder and harder to get it to be quiet. The only way to end it, eventually, was to rip the batteries from the baby. A day before the company's court hearing the entire building burned down, apparently with all of its employees inside. They didn't find any of the bodies, but some of the worker's family members could identify the screams.
- If you take any Swiss Franc note and expose it to microwaves, it will curl up and ignite. Once it's cooled down, you'll find a fine powder that, when ingested, will kill you painlessly. A 10 franc note has enough poison to kill a family of four.
- There is a possibility that your parents have been dead since April 12, 1986. Here's an experiment you can do to find out: Leave a tape recorded on somewhere hidden in your parents' room, then announce that you're going out, leaving your parents alone in the house. When you return, listen to the tape in secret. If you hear a constant gurgling noise, leave the house and do not return.
- An unknown number calls you to your cellphone. You answer.
"Hello? Can I take five minutes of your time?"
"Sure."
He hangs up. Suddenly you feel a little older.
- A vanguardist composer decides that his next piece will feature sounds recorded while he slept. He leaves a tape recorder on throughout the night. The next morning, he plays the recorder, listening to whatever it picked up. Mostly stray cats, passing cars, and his own tossing and turning in bed. Then halfway through, the sound of his door opening.
- Heaven is leaving your body after you die, Hell is staying.
- The body of 4 children murdered in the 1800's are perfectly preserved under the Reunion Tower in Dallas, Texas. In their genes lies the cure to countless major diseases (Including the cure for AIDS).
- Leon Czolgosz, assassin of William McKinley, the the 25th President of the United States, was electrocuted for his crime on October 29, 1901, at Auburn Prison in Auburn, New York. Among the personal effects found in his cell was a U.S. quarter stamped with the date 2218. The face in profile on said quarter was not George Washington, but rather a face which has yet to be identified.
- Every 4983 days a person dies at the exact latitude and longitude of their birthday.
- The 51st state of the United States, Arcadia, was admitted to statehood on January 17th, 1977. Exactly 4 years to the day later, Arcadia disappeared along with all its residents, and all memory of its existence was erased from every mind in the world. Its precise former location is unknown, though there is rumored to be a map of the type sold in gas stations and convenience stores held under lock and key in the Library of Congress. Also of note are claims of the sporadic delivery of mail from Arcadia, with modern postmarks, to several major American newspapers, the contents of which are said to be written in an entirely unknown and undecipherable language. Unfortunately, those letters to a one have been misplaced and are not available for examination.
- Earth is a farm. We are someone else's property.
- For a brief period in 1971, a New Jersey based company sold novelty "x-ray" glasses through the mail via advertisements in the Marvel line of comic books. People who viewed their televisions while wearing these glasses reported seeing images that were "hellish" or "like hell". It should be noted that this phenomena occured whether the televisions in question were turned on or not. The company quickly went out of business and investigations reveal that the company's address leads to a graveyard founded many decades before 1971. I heard that the company showed up later somewhere in the midwest. They released a toy doll that was supposed to be a realistic baby. Eventually the doll would start crying, and you couldn't get it to stop without shaking it. Eventually when it started crying the owner would have to beat it, and the beatings and thrashings would have to get harder and harder to get it to be quiet. The only way to end it, eventually, was to rip the batteries from the baby. A day before the company's court hearing the entire building burned down, apparently with all of its employees inside. They didn't find any of the bodies, but some of the worker's family members could identify the screams.
- If you take any Swiss Franc note and expose it to microwaves, it will curl up and ignite. Once it's cooled down, you'll find a fine powder that, when ingested, will kill you painlessly. A 10 franc note has enough poison to kill a family of four.
- There is a possibility that your parents have been dead since April 12, 1986. Here's an experiment you can do to find out: Leave a tape recorded on somewhere hidden in your parents' room, then announce that you're going out, leaving your parents alone in the house. When you return, listen to the tape in secret. If you hear a constant gurgling noise, leave the house and do not return.
- An unknown number calls you to your cellphone. You answer.
"Hello? Can I take five minutes of your time?"
"Sure."
He hangs up. Suddenly you feel a little older.
- A vanguardist composer decides that his next piece will feature sounds recorded while he slept. He leaves a tape recorder on throughout the night. The next morning, he plays the recorder, listening to whatever it picked up. Mostly stray cats, passing cars, and his own tossing and turning in bed. Then halfway through, the sound of his door opening.
- Heaven is leaving your body after you die, Hell is staying.
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